Day 24 of this challenge calls for me to list my top three worst traits. I think there are way more than three, but I singled out the three that I'm trying my hardest to improve on and/or having the hardest time with.
I struggle with finding myself valuable. Whether its work, or relationships, I have trouble confidently saying "I am valuable." Work, especially, is the hardest. I will find all sorts of excuses as to why I'm "just doing my job" and not necessarily recognize when I am going the extra mile, or am a positive asset to a company.
I can not take compliments. I really can't. Never have been able to, whether its a compliment about my outfit, or a job I did, or how I am as a person. I mean, when we first started dating, I spent three whole days texting with C about whether or not I was beautiful. (I'm also stubborn, but I don't necessarily consider that a bad trait. :) ) I will say thank you when getting a compliment, but then brush it off like its NBD. This goes a little hand in hand with trait number one.
I'm easily excitable. This comes in handy when I'm ramping up for a full day of excitement at Disneyland - it does not when I'm treading on the edge of an argument. I've been working on trying to take deep breaths before instantly going into crazy-defense mode, which is made worse by my voice getting louder, and its been a challenge. I have learned that sometimes I do need to close my eyes, take a deep breath, or even, briefly, walk away, just so I can gather my thoughts and try to continue the conversation in a mature fashion.
It's been challenging on working on all three, especially when they come hand-in-hand quite often, but it is nice to feel like I'm making some growth, you know?
This weekend is getting kicked off by taking in a Dodger game tonight, where we're treated with fireworks afterwards. Although I enjoy baseball, I will wholeheartedly admit that the major reason why I go is for the food. Big Kid Dog, anyone?
(I realize that this comes on the heels of reports that hot dogs cause disease, but I've eaten so many hot dogs in my life, I'm already playing that hand anyway. Plus, MAC AND CHEESE. Helloooo.)
Tomorrow we're celebrating C's birthday at a new BBQ joint with friends. Good BBQ is hard to come by in Los Angeles, so I'm hoping this one will win me over. I judge my BBQ joints by their cornbread and coleslaw.
Sunday we're taking round 3 on our new hike at Griffith, and bringing some friends along. I just found my Camelbak (buried deep in my trunk for goodness knows how long) and between that, my new fitness belt (that's right, I said it, FITNESS BELT), a bottle of water and a bottle of Vitamin Water, I'm hoping this will be the one-two-three punch to keep the headaches at bay. The hike will be a nice challenge, but we all know I'm just in it for the post-hike meal of burgers or tacos. I'm already itching for some solid pico de gallo.
Monday is a clean slate for now, although, after everything else, it'll probably be a day hanging by the pool, and possibly followed by a bike ride. I'm sorry to my loved ones in New England who'll be dealing with rainrainrain, but its supposed to be in the mid-70s all weekend.
But for now, there is a Law & Order: SVU marathon that is calling my name. Happy Friday!