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Monday, May 13, 2013

Most embarassing ice cream related moment.

On Friday, I was supposed to tell you about my most embarrassing moments.  Today I'm supposed to tell you about something I miss.  Since my absolute MOST embarrassing moments are way too inappropriate for the interwebs (but I will totally share them over a glass or two of wine!) I thought I'd share my 4th most embarrassing moment which also has to do with something I miss.

Summers in New England are quite magical.  Despite what anyone from New England will tell you, while they're complaining about the heat and humidity and the mosquito bites (I definitely don't miss smelling like bug spray all the time) there is something very beautiful about summertime in New England.  One of the great things about New England are ice cream stands.  Homemade ice cream stands.  They're on the side of roads, you generally park in a gravel or dirt filled lot filled with picnic tables, stand in long lines, just to walk up to a window and order some sort of crazy combo of hand scooped, homemade ice cream.

This is what I'm missing today (and lately):

Rainbow sprinkles are filled with magic.  Don't let anyone else tell you differently.
A few years ago, a friend and I were out one summer evening, attending a play for a very last minute school assignment I had due.  We decided to stop for ice cream at one of the two ice cream stands in my hometown.  This was also the same summer that I had started gaining a little weight, and was in complete denial about it.  I had a pair of jeans that I had been wearing for YEARS and absolutely loved, but they were starting to feel snug around the waist.  I ignored it, and kept pretending like they still fit, even though they were busting holes in the knees and the thighs and around the hips.  On this particular evening, I was wearing those jeans.  I was driving, and as I went to slide into the front seat of my car so we could head to get ice cream, I felt something give behind me.  I assumed that it was a spring in my seat, as my car was old and the seats were starting to sag, so I ignored it.  We pulled up to the ice cream stand, the line carrying out into the parking lot, and I started to get out.  That's when I heard the sound of a seam ripping.  I stopped short of getting out and my friend came to my side of the car to ask if I was okay.

"I think... I ripped my pants."

She started laughing til she realized I was serious.

Since I couldn't tell how bad the rip was without getting out of the car, I had to stand up, and slowly turn away from her.  She gasped.  I hadn't just ripped the seam completely up the middle, I had also ripped it around my thigh, meaning the pants had a huge flap with a gaping whole and you could literally see one side of my butt.  I also didn't have anything I could wrap around my waist to hide it, so, I was basically flashing one half of my butt to the entire line of people.  Since there was no way I was not getting ice cream, she stood behind me and we shuffled our way into line, and I kept my fingers crossed no one was judging the bright kelly green undies I was wearing that day.

There are four valuable lessons to learn from this:

1 - remember, as a kid, when your mom used to harp on you about wearing clean underwear every day? Here is a perfect reason why you should.  You really never know who is going to see them.
2 - if your pants are quite literally busting at seams, and in random spots without seams, they probably don't fit you any more.
3 - always keep a spare long-sleeved shirt/hoodie/jacket in your car.  Your parents will think you're being responsible in case of an emergency; in this case, the emergency is the potential for the whole community to see your butt.

And finally, the most important lesson:

Never, ever, let anything stop you from getting ice cream.  Ever.

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